8/8/2009
I think I am still amazed at the transformations that take place when a loved one is facing death. I have traveled this road recently and am hoping to find the end of mourning so that I can once again celebrate the life that was, that is, that will be.
My writings ended about the time that my dear friend got a shitty diagnosis from his physician…the cancer he had been fighting and seemed to be winning against returned with a vengeance…stage four with a short prognosis for survival. He beat the time clock by a few short months and we celebrated each and every one of those days as they clicked by.
David died in January of this year, defying the odds of making it to the beginning of November 2008. He fought a hard battle and although no longer here, in the flesh, he won. He won through his legacy: The love people express for him, the memories, and his love of music.
I cannot help but think about my dear friend when hearing particular artist and songs such as The Beatles, Rush, Vienna Teng, and Over the Rhine. He lives in every note that these artist play…he hangs on as a memory that I do not want exorcised.
Although we never shared his music together, the only cd I could listen to end-to-end for weeks after David’s death was Matthew Ryan vs The Silver States. I still have not figured that one out yet. Maybe it has something to do with having NOT shared this music together…or possibly themes and notes…?
We recently celebrated the first of David’s birthdays without him. It was weird to say the least. I understand from the hospice personal who work in the same building as I do that the 1st are the hardest after losing a loved one. I really hope it gets easier from here.
I miss you David and think of you all the time…especially through song.
Peace,
Z
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